I am married to an alcoholic

So, I have been married for 12 years now. I realize now that I should have known it when we met. Anyone that downs a 30 pack of Coors Light in a day has a problem. Of course, they say love is blind. I guess I really did not see the writing on the wall for what it was. Here I am 45 years old, jobless with a 5 year old and living a very unhappy life. I have lost my dad and half of my family. Lost my best friend in the whole world because she thought she she just had to have my dad’s money and possessions. I am lost, so utterly and totally lost. I really need my zoloft right now. I have been out for 3 days now and feel like crap. I just want to cry and cry and cry. Time to get my life in order

Time With Pawpaw

I am so glad that my son got to spend time with my dad before he passed away. I had to take my baby to the doctor today and in the waiting room was an older man and his grandson. You could see how much they loved each other. It made me realize how glad I am that my sweet boy spent a lot of time with his Pawpaw. The other day, we drove past the hospital and my son told me he really misses his Pawpaw. I never met either of my grandfathers-so I am especially glad Caden was able to meet his. It just saddens me to know that all my son knew was his Pawpaw living in the hospital and nursing home.

Missing Daddy

Yesterday would have been Daddy’s 86th birthday. I really miss that man. I was always Daddy’s little girl. He always brought me something when he would come home from a job. He worked out of town and would be gone for days at a time. He never forgot me though. I would run to the door and jump up and down excitedly when he came home.

He always took us camping and on vacations. He even took us to Disney when we were on vacation one time. I remember getting stranded in the snow up north, him falling out of the boat when he was fishing, etc. Every year around Halloween, he would have Fudgie fits. LOL! Kraft had some candy that was like caramels only they were called Fudgies. He loved those candies and would lay in the floor and roll around saying he was having a fudgie fit. It was quite hilarious.

We lost Daddy in July of 2010. I really wish things could have been different with my family. Ever since Dad got sick, our family has fallen apart. I miss my family.

More Drama

Well, last Monday, I got the call that my 22 year old nephew committed suicide. He hung himself. He was the sweetest young man. He has been suffering from depression for quite some time but as most people with depression do, he kept it inside until he made this horrible decision.
He had everything going for him, or so we all thought. He was buying his own house, had a great job, helped out on a voluntary basis doing the electronics at the local community theater. He was a computer whiz. From the time he was 2, he was fascinated with plugs, switches and other various gadgets. I have had a really hard time dealing with his death. This is especially hard because his mother is the sister I no longer speak to. She is a cold hearted witch. She is blaming his girlfriend for his actions. His girlfriend is absolutely devastated. His mom even went so far as to log into his Facebook account and removed his girlfriend as his “in a relationship with”.
I made a few decisions this past week that I really stressed over. After several anxiety attacks and crying episodes, I chose to remain home and not go to any of his services. I knew without a doubt that someone would cause some type of drama. Therefore, as an act of respect for my nephew, I chose to not go. I did not want his services marred by any type of family drama. Of course, now his brother has chosen to disown me. I am just hoping that his older brother and his sister do not do the same. As for his mother, she is totally ticked as are my two brothers. My issue with them is, where were they when I needed them when our dad died? They were too busy stabbing me in the back and making up tons of lies about me.
In conclusion, I am at peace with my decision. If anyone has an issue with it, then I am truly sorry. I did what I did with the utmost respect for my dear nephew. Rest in peace my dear Dunc-I will love you always and I know you understand my actions.

The Evil Takes Hold

Within a week of the family meeting, my younger sister D (YSD) went to the bank with my mom and me to withdraw the money. We ended up getting close to $300K out of the bank that day. My mom decided to buy a different house to live in since the doctors had diagnosed my dad with dementia and he would most likely be in the nursing home permanently since she was in no shape physically to take care of him. The plans were to buy a new mobile home to live in with OSD and her husband. In the meantime while they were ordeing the house and getting the land cleared off, BD was making plans of his own. He made an appointment with another doctor to try to get my declared competent. Now, when I would go visit my dad, he had no clue where he wasor who anybody was. He did have a few good days but there were way more bad days than good. There was no way he could make any decisions for himself. Well, this other doctor did not outright say he did not have dementia. His statement said that “he could live at home as lon as someone as willing and able to care for him”. After this appointment, my brother K(BK), BD and YSD took Dad home to Mom and said here he is for you to take care of. Jus the week before, my mom had an emergency surgery to put in a pacemaker-so she was not up to any of this. She told them that she could not take care of him with her health the way it was. They informed her that she had 2 weeks to get out of her and dad’s home.

The Family Meeting

After my dad was admitted to the nursing home following his surgery, we all decided as a family to have a meeting to discuss future plans. My parents had a trust set up in 2000 to place all of their assets in. They owned 11 rental properties, several pieces of heavy equipment and quite a bit of cash. They needed to make sure they were protected legally. In this trust, they also made wills, powers of attorney, etc. Both of my parents were of sound mind when they made these legal documents. After finalizing the paperwork, my dad met with my oldest sister and I one day to explain it all to us since we were to be the executors of the estate and trust. He told us the basics about where the bank accounts were but he would not discuss the specifics of the will with us. He told us flat out, “You can fight about it when I am dead and gone.” Little did we know that the fight would be on before he passed away.

All of my siblings (with the exception of my brother that lives in another state) met at my parent’s house to discuss my dad’s situation. My brother (BD) had already talked to an attorney about the situation and explained to us all just exactly what should be done. He suggested that my mom needed to remove all of the cash from the bank and give it to us kids as a “gift” and then we could give her the money back to keep in case she needed it. Well, mom was not in agreement about giving the money away. D told her she still needed to get the money out of the bank just in case dad had to be in the nursing home indefinitely. Now, keep in mind that with their monthly social security checks and rental income, my dad was set. There was no reason to hide assets from social security. There was plenty of income to cover these expenses. Mom, not really knowing what to do since her whole life has been basically turned upside down agreed to get the money out of the bank and put it aside for future use. We discussed a few other things about the property and ended the meeting with BD upset with the fact that my oldest sister D (OSD) was going to get my dad’s backhoe. Other than that, everything at our meeting went well.


The Beginning of The End Of My Sanity

Over the past two years, my life has been turned upside down. My Dad passed away last year after being diagnosed with dementia. It all started with surgery to amputate 2 of his toes.

Two years ago on March 17, 2009, my dad had surgery to remove two of his toes due to infection and lack of blood flow to heal the affected area. After this surgery, he regained consciousness from the anesthesia and was terribly confused. His brain was really gone after that. He kept rambling and talking about work. He was telling everyone that came to visit him to do different things. He had us tighten the nuts and bolts on the bed and other crazy stuff. The doctor told us to give it a few days and he might become more coherent. Well, in the course of those few days, it was determined that he would need a stent in his leg to help the blood flow to his foot. He was then put under the anesthesia again. This time when he came to, it was much worse. Subsequently, he had to have a lower leg amputation due to the lack of blood flow. He was placed in a nursing home for rehabilitation. After being there for a few weeks, the doctor determined that he was not going to recover his mind and diagnosed him with dementia. My mom, who had been married to my dad for 63 years, did the only thing she was able to do. She kept him in the nursing home so he could get the care he needed. My entire family was in agreement with mom’s decision to have dad in the nursing home because we knew she was unable to care for him. This was a devastating blow to our family. We were a very close and loving family and hated to see our dad in the health he was in. It turned out that not all of the family was going to stand behind my mom in her decisions for what was best. That is where my family life tragically started unravelling.

New Beginnings

Well, somehow I deleted all of my posts first thing this morning. Can we say “MAJOR PANIC ATTACK!!??” I had o uninstall WP and reinstall it.

Anyway, here we go, after not posting here for a while, I am back. Over the past few years, I have had some major changes in my life. Two years ago, my dad went into the hospital to have 2 of his toes amputated. He subsequently had to have his lower leg amputated. After his surgery, the anesthesia caused him to have dementia.He had no clue what was going on at all. My mom placed him in the nursing home due to the fact that she could not care for him. My brothers and 1 of my sisters took him out of the nursing home after several months and took him home to Mom and basically were going to leave him there with her. Just the week before, my mom had an emergency surgery to install a pacemaker. After speaking to an attorney, he recommended that she divorce him due to the fact that she no longer had control of what he did and with the amount of property they had, she did not want to be responsible for his actions should something happen. We ended up losing him in July of last year. I have not spoken to my 2 brothers or 1 of my sisters since. They cut my mom and my other 2 sisters out of my dad’s life and conned him out of everything he had. My parents were forced into getting a divorce after 64 yearsof marriage. I have not been the same since. Not a day goes by that I don’t cry about the way things turned out. Greed is an monstrous thing and it has torn my life and my family apart. My depression has since worsened and I am not the same happy-go-lucky person I once was. I would give anything to be normal again. My sister had always been my best friend (or so I thought). It is really hard to know that the person you have entrusted your heart and soul to could stab you so viciously in the back.  They even buried my dad the day before the memorial service and left my mom, myself and my 2 other sisters out. They then proceeded to turn my dad’s memorial service into a huge circus. They have tried to make it look like they were not at fault in anything. My dad worked his whole life for everything he had and they conned him out of it before he died. He died a pauper and it was all because of greed.

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